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the lamentations of the lame

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Oct. 10th, 2008 | 12:00 am

Regretably, I won't be voting in the election because I still don't have an address to get my ballot mailed to me. I should've planned ahead a little better.

The election's in the bag for Obama, anyway, and I'm predicting a double-digit win for Barry in Michigan. I'm betting on it. I'll post pictures of my face after downing a double shot of baijiu if this doesn't happen. Is this crazy? After all, a bunch of urinalists were calling Michigan a toss-up state at the beginning of the cycle. But they're daft shits. Their reasoning was backed by Obama's poor performance in the primary... where his name wasn't even on the cunting ballot.

Fuck that shit.

The now newsworthy economic woe touched Michigan two decades before the rest of the states. Educated Michiganders driven into diaspora by a lack of opportunities for degree holders comprise a vanguard intelligensia that will lead the masses of other states out of these troubled times. Even though we are spread far and wide, we will fold this rusty mitt into an iron fist. OF COMMUNISM.

Hyperbole aside, I still think I'm making a safe bet.

But for all my boundless boners for Barry, the real fight is down the ticket. The reason the old guard of the DNC gave this unknown quantity a shot at the Prezy job is to attract votes for local and state Dems--and it's only through them that we will effect true CHANGE.

So now I must sincerely beg your forgiveness. My lack of forethought will prevent me from doing my civic duty and taking part in this important event. In ten years, I will look back and wish I could have been a part of this instead of slumming around Asia and taking advantage of the bleak wealth disparity.

SAW-REE GUISE. There ain't much I can do from here. Alls I gots be words.

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Comments {3}

Stacy Deathsatan

From: chucknoblet
Date: Oct. 10th, 2008 06:28 am (UTC)
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The election's in the bag for Obama

I hope you're right. I am very nervous about getting my hopes up tho.

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goodatsolitaire

From: goodatsolitaire
Date: Oct. 10th, 2008 07:13 am (UTC)
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As mentioned by the previous poster - I hope you're right about Obama. But the last time I got my hopes up about a presidential election, well, I looked pretty silly when I still had a Kerry/Edwards sticker on my laptop a month after they "lost". Oops.

In other semi-related news, Todd brought baijiu to one of our parties a few weeks ago, and our apartment still smelled like nail polish the next day. Worst liquor I have ever tasted. Also, I get my academic audit on Monday and depending on the results, I might be applying for + getting (because I am full of win) the China Daily internship for next semester. Rad.

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Victor

From: vicfitz82
Date: Oct. 10th, 2008 09:08 am (UTC)
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baijiu... i think my stepdad brought that back from one of his trips to China or Taiwan. Just smelling the stuff makes me want to hurl.

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